I have an amazing friend that I went to school with. She lives on the other side of the country to me. She has recently become a new mum. I am so happy for her.
My friends little sister recently moved to my town. And even more recently she had a brand new little baby girl.
Today, the pressure that is applied to mums has really hit me, smack in the face.
This girl I know has been doing it tough. Really tough. But I didnt know.
I didnt know that a few hours after she and I had coffee together, when I sensed something was wrong but didnt say anything, she went to hospital for three weeks.
What disgusts me most, is that whilst in hopsital trying to get herself better, get her head back where it needs to be, she became worse. Each nurse that came on with the change of shift gave her advice that conflicted with the one before. She felt she could not anything right. Nothing was working. She was drowning.
She still isnt well. And I'm not sure how I can help, without looking pushy, or like a mothering Nazi. I dont know this girl well, but for the sake of mothers everywhere, for the sake of a tiny baby girl who needs her mamma, I'm so there.
So whilst talking to her sister today, I had a revelation.
We decided that a lot of the issue was the advice. The books. The 'baby whiperers' with all their great plans and routines that you should stick by. It was killing this mum because it wasnt working!
No one tells you that kids are assholes and learning to be a mum is a bitch of a job!!! And one that you have to learn.
No book from Angus and Robertson is going to teach you to be a mum. No amount of googling will make you good at it. We need to know that its a day by day thing. That each day changes and you generally have to adapt to that each day.
That being a mum makes you a chameleon. You are constantly needing to change your colours.
So, tonight, I am thinking of embarking on a little project, and I would LOVE your help!!!!
Please, shoot me through an email and let me know your story, of how you have learnt to adapt to being a mum, to changing your colours regularly. Your parenting fails, and wins, and how parenting can be a bitch!
Politically incorrect is more than welcome :)